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No-Bull Burger Purist, born and raised in NJ, the heart of the tri-state area and home to the oldest (and best) burger joints in the country. I don't need all the frilly toppings, happy servers or trendy decor, just a good burger...

Monday, September 15, 2014

3 Disney Foodfare Burger Reviews!

Disney Burger #1

Gasparilla Island Grill at The Grand Floridian Resort, Disney World, Orlando, Florida

Angus Bacon Cheeseburger

Lettuce, tomato, red onion, bacon, American cheese, artisan bun

I had high hopes for the Gasparilla Island Grill's burger…after all, I was staying at The Grand Floridian (which is just about as nice as it gets at Disney), and with fond memories of the great burgers at the Beaches and Cream Soda Shop at Disney's Beach Club Resort, I couldn't wait to sample another Disney burger. Even with Disney bowing down to the political correctness of serving more healthful choices on their menus (sickens me), I was amped up; the glamour photos on the menu had me hook, line, and sinker.

But, in a nutshell, the burger was an EPIC CRAP FAIL. Great bun, great toppings, (at least Disney still puts the toppings where they belong – on the TOP of the burger) but the burger patty was a mystery meat that I haven't had the displeasure of eating since the late 60's, when hard nodules and indescribable textures were common place. What a disappointment. 5/10 on the BC rating scale (and I'm being generous). STRIKE 1

Disney Burger #2

Pecos Bill Tell Tale Inn and Cafe, Frontierland, Disney World, Orlando, Florida

Deluxe 1/3-pound Angus Cheeseburger

1/3 pound angus burger, bacon, onion rings, barbecue sauce, American cheese, sautéed onions and mushrooms, artisan roll, cheese sauce

Holy Cow! Just look at this beauty.... NOT! The bun and toppings were awesome, but the burger was the same mystery meat patty I just had at the Gasparilla Grill. Awful, just awful. This burger wasn't even close to fast food standards. Really? Is Disney that hard up for money that they can't spring for a decent quality meat for their $95 a day admission to the park guests? Appalling, just appalling. Seriously, this burger couldn't hold a candle to the frozen Drive-Thru Burger* I recently reviewed.
(and don't be fooled, the burger was no where near as good as my photos make it look).

5/10 on the BC rating scale (and I'm being kind for a second time).


Disney Burger #3

The Grand Floridian Cafe, The Grand Floridian Resort, Disney World, Orlando, Florida

The Grand Floridian Burger (of course)

Angus chuck cheeseburger, butter poached lobster and red onion marmalade with arugula on a brioche bun

Comments:Wow, finally, I was promised “the best burger in all of Disney” by Louise from Italy (or so her name tag says). Now wouldn't you believe that the Grand Floridian Burger is fantastic if it came from cast member and head server, Louise from ITALY? Yeah, same here.

To make a very long story short, the fact of the matter is that this burger was a pre-formed collection of mystery meat with an oddly shaped perimeter (much like that of a frozen Bubba Burger). It's probably a Disney-contracted low quality, money-saving item for Cisco or US foods to produce for them. It was no more than a larger version of the mystery meat burgers I have previously reviewed so I ended up purchasing my third EPIC CRAP FAIL burger in as many days, only this time with an added pish-posh seafood topping. Naturally the arugula was okay, but the onions were nauseatingly sweet.
Louise told me that the chef allowed all the staff to sample these burgers before offering them as a regular menu item and everyone was thrilled at the "high" quality and flavor of them.

Well, I'm here to tell you Louise, you need to stop eating dog food and try a human restaurant for a change, it'll do you good to see what humans eat.

BTW, while ordering, I was asked in a very professional manor, "how would you like your cheeseburger cooked?" I replied, “Medium-rare, will that be pink inside?” Answer: "Yes, very pink" (yeah, right, wait till ya check out my photos*).

Oh, and did I mention this burger cost $18.49? REALLY DISNEY? Your chef at the Grand Floridian is proud to serve this? And at that price? (He must be a fan of dog food too).

*Please click on photo #8 to enlarge it and you'll be able to visually see the meat texture and quality - I think you'll agree, it's some kind of pre-formed pressurized mystery meat. Honestly Disney food people, if In-N-Out, Shake Shack, Smashburger, 5 Guys and the myriad of other fast-casual burger joints can do affordable, decent quality food, why can't you?
Walt would never have sacrificed so much quality in order to boost his margins a little.

This was STRIKE 3 for me - three up, three down – EPIC CRAP FAIL's all around.

(And I thought the turkey legs were bad)...

Above is photo #8 - click to enlarge... 

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