Burger Archive

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No-Bull Burger Purist, born and raised in NJ, the heart of the tri-state area and home to the oldest (and best) burger joints in the country. I don't need all the frilly toppings, happy servers or trendy decor, just a good burger...

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Culver's Jupiter, FL

Culver’s1108 Military Trail,Jupiter, FL 33458

Butterburger Cheese

"Never frozen" Midwest-raised beef, American cheese made in Wisconsin on a lightly buttered, toasted bun.


45…count'em…45 minutes it took to receive our order.... and it was cold.

Yep, Culver’s of Jupiter Florida wins the prize for the worst-managed burger chain I've ever come across.

Ever since Culver's recently opened some time in December of 2016 (approximately), my father-in-law and I have been waiting for the novelty of "the new burger joint in town" to wear off. We wanted to go once the staff was fully trained and running like a fine-tuned machine.

Perhaps we should've waited until the summer months? Of 2024?

Sidebar: This is my 270th review on this blog. I do not get a thrill from knocking anyone, however, if you are willing to take my money in exchange for services and/or product, then I'd like to think we mutually agree on the value of the deal. That is to say, you make the percent margin you are entitled to and charge me a fair price for it. Deal.

This was no fair deal. This deal was heavily weighted in Culver's favor. 45 minutes waiting for our food (a burger for heaven's sake!), 20 minutes of which were spent standing hovering over tables like vultures until one was free.

Who needs this? I can go to so many eateries in the Jupiter area and God knows there are thousands of them where we can sit and eat in comfort in a timely fashion.

On the pro side, we could tell the meat was tasty and I would probably enjoy a Culver's burger that is cooked correctly and served in a reasonable amount of time, as well as served hot. And with a butter flavor that actually exists beyond the words on the menu.

Also, there is a sign on the entrance door which reads:


Ms. Naylon, I'm here to tell you, you may want to drop the word "proudly" from the sign because there was nothing to be proud of on January 15, 2017.

The number of staff members was not the issue, in fact there seemed to be a dozen kids in blue shirts and hats, most of them bumping into each other looking for their destination tables. The issue lies in the food not being prepared fast enough.

This particular Culver's gets a 3.5\10 on the BC rating scale.

We can't express our disappointment enough after all our anticipation... such a shame. I hope other Culver's are managed better, it'd be a shame if they are all like this one.

The burgers weren't warm enough to melt the cheese...

Real life photo of Culver's Butterburger Cheeseburger.

Glamour shot of Culver's Butterburger Cheeseburger. 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Firehouse Subs, Totowa, NJ

Firehouse Subs
205 US Hwy 46 West Unit E Totowa, NJ
07512 store #1156
phone: (973)837-8022

Italian submarine sandwich

Ham, pepperoni, provolone cheese, salami, lettuce, tomato, onion, dressing, toasted sub roll. 


"Put the fire out Chief"
~Captain Quint

Disappointed. Yet another generic sandwich chain joins the market. I must be missing something, how these sandwich chains are making it is beyond me. There is obviously a market for highly processed cold cut sandwich chains since they keep popping up across the country, but I just don't get it. I haven't researched sandwich shop national sales yet but it's something I will do right after this review is written. For now, I'm just an ordinary Joe in search of a good sandwich that will be kind to my taste buds and fill my empty belly.

The concept, design and execution are pretty cool; helmets and axes hanging on the wall, and the colors and graphics all make for a great visual. But unfortunately it does not compensate for the product.

The sandwiches are like most sandwich chain food – watered down versions of a legit delicatessen. And there are so many sandwich chains to choose from. Here is a list of the top 500 of 2016…

There are a staggering 500 because the list includes hamburger, taco, Asian, and other chains that serve sandwiches. The link I've provided shows just the chains from the "sandwich" category.
Note, the "rank" column shows their ranking compared to the full list of chains, so you could technically number these 1 through 19 since they represent only the sandwich category.

The demand for these types of sodium-laced sandwiches is mind blowing. I'm convinced the key to a good sandwich is not necessarily what’s in the sandwich but how it's put together that makes winners and losers in the sandwich game. Some sandwich chains, I have to say, are decent, (my favorite being Wawa subs), but how in the world Arby's makes enough money to open their doors is mystifying. Ever have a "roast beef" sandwich there? Talk about mystery meat. Do it, go ahead, do it, you won't.
Back to the Firehouse...
The best description of this sandwich is (yawn) "ho-hum". Check my photos and I'm sure you'll agree.

Friday, February 10, 2017


Costco store #149NJ-23, Wayne, NJ 07470
(973) 339-4006

AdvancePierre® Foods Steak-EZE® Angus Cheeseburger


I've always believed that fast food has its place in the world – so to all of the food snobs and haters, I’ll start off by saying you're missing out by not trying new types of food products; frozen or otherwise.

With that being said (I'll get this over with quick), these burgers are meant for consumption under certain conditions only. Some of these conditions can be described as:
intoxicated, inebriated, s*itfaced, stoned, tipsy, buzzed, crocked, high, wasted, totaled, plastered, stewed, tanked, potted, lit, juiced, and of course, drunk.

Yes, that is what they are good for... soaking up alcohol in the stomach.

The meat is of the same variety as any frozen Salisbury steak TV dinner. It resembles beef and it even smells like beef. This brand of frozen burger actually has a descent char flavor, but it's all the same mystery meat.
I tried to doctor mine up with some extra cheese and lettuce since nuking the burger per the instructions liquefies the cheese to infinity and beyond.

One thing to note was that I had no adverse gastro effects. Would I buy them again? Probably, since on that rare occasion when I need help dispersing alcohol they will definitely come in handy.

No rating on this since I'm not quite sure it classifies as a burger...

You can read my review of Walmart's frozen cheeseburger offerings from September of 2014 here:

Of all the frozen burgers I've tried (not counting White Castle burgers) these, Sandwich Bros. were probably the best. I think being encased in a pita helped retain moisture and flavor...

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Mike Mike's Famous Burgers & Shakes, Ramsey, NJ

Mike Mike's Famous Burgers & Shakes
102 East Main Street Ramsey, NJ 07446

The Double Double

Two beef patties (I'm guessing 5 oz. each), cheese, potato bun.


Finally, a manly man's burger...meat, cheese, bread.

Pros - Flat griddled beef, cheese, potato bun.
Cons - Meat too well done.

What originally opened as Badlands Tacos in Ramsey has been subdivided recently, with the two restaurants sharing the same entrance, seating, and kitchen. The split was perfectly executed, resulting in a feeling of being in two different eateries – it even has a bit of a food court feel.

On to the Double Double...
I've never had a burger actually burn my lips the way Mike Mike’s Double Double did. Never in all my years of eating burgers have I experienced this and it was awesome, just awesome. On my next visit, however, I'm going to ask them to take it off the grill just a tad sooner. Although I can put up with a Five Guys-style well done burger as long as it's tender and juicy (I'm a medium rare guy at heart), this puppy was done quite a bit more than that.

With that said, I know there's a very good burger to be had at Mike Mike's, so I'm not discouraged. After all, we were their first customers of the day…perhaps the cook has a warm-up period??
Another note – I've become accustomed to the fast-casual burger restaurant craze where the blends of ground meat range from chuck, flat iron, brisket, short rib, aged, etc., with delicious complex burger blends becoming the norm. I admit I'm getting a bit spoiled, so when I sampled what I believe to have been an old-fashioned home style single-grind burger, I was a little taken back. Mind you, I did not feel disappointed. For me, the single-grind was, shall we say, "unexpected.”
In any event, it was good – good-old-fashioned-good. And yes, still juicy enough to drip over my hands. Double American cheese is always necessary with two patties, and the super fresh potato bun was perfect, albeit the generic supermarket variety.

I'm never a fry guy, but I tasted my friend’s Cajun spice curly fries. They were not overly seasoned, just right, and served hot and crispy.

The flavor of my vanilla shake was great. I even detected a pinch of malt, but the consistency was more thin and watery than it should have been. I'm not complaining, this is just me reporting what I ate and drank... the shake was delicious nonetheless. Oh, and did I mention the place is very clean? It was.

The Double Double gets an 8.8\10 on the BC rating scale.

Mike Mike's, I'll be back...

The coolest special boards...

Cajun seasoned fries were great, not overpowering.